Leadership, Friendship & Soul-Deep Reflection

How long is it since you did some self-reflection?

I don’t mean surface reflection; how did I go today reflection. I mean deep soul searching, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, get to the core of yourself reflection.

I know for me it’s been too long. And I talk about self-reflection a lot and checking in with yourself and how you’re showing up, a lot. It’s part of my job.

But how long is it since I really got to the core of me to check in?

It’s probably too long.

I spent this morning with my son. My gorgeous 13-year-old who wanted to support one of his school friends who was saying goodbye to his dad today, after he suddenly passed away a few days ago.

And my goodness, it really makes you think.

One of my contemporaries. A chapel full of people honouring his memory.

It really makes you think.

My beautiful boy, who is one of the most compassionate people I know, just wanted to be there for his friend. To stand with him, cry with him and hug him when he needed it. Well, that’s pretty amazing to watch as a parent. (Even as I edit this, I have tears in my eyes.)

So I will be doing my reflection. And I’ll be thinking of the things that I need to do better, or differently. How I need to show up in a way that is an improvement on how I’ve been showing up before. How I need to live a little bit more.

One of the things that I know that I’m really happy with right now though, is that I can see in my son the amazing man that he’s going to be, based on the kid he is right now.

When I reflect on legacy and I think about leadership, then being a parent, that’s about the biggest legacy and the biggest demonstration of leadership there is.

Role modelling, influencing, teaching, and mentoring young people is incredibly future-focused. It’s the long haul. I guess, because it’s about creating, developing, nurturing, sponsoring the leaders of the future. The ones who are going to make a difference in our world.

So, yes, it’s a long game. And the results are worth every bit of effort, energy, time, focus, determination, disappointment, do over, joy, laughter and everything else that you put into it. Because if that’s not worth it, then nothing is.

So as I continue to reflect, I’ll be looking at my opportunities to be a better role model, be a better parent, be a better me. Find new ways, better ways, to contribute so that leaders today and tomorrow will be better equipped to solve so many of our problems that do need solving. And I hope in my own way that I will be able to make my difference.

I encourage you to do the same. A bit of soul searching, a bit of deep reflection, a bit of finding the meaning or purpose of your life.

You don’t have to have all the answers.

I know I don’t.

Still, I think it’s worth some time… from time to time… to spend on ourselves. On rediscovering what’s important. What’s the difference that we can make. Then committing to that.

A tough morning but an incredibly educational one for me. I’m really grateful that my son gave me the opportunity to be part of this morning. Showing me what being a real friend and being a leader, a human one, is all about.

Originally published at https://ashleycoaching.com.au on September 24, 2019.

Stacey Ashley is a High-Performance Leadership and Coaching expert. She has helped 1000’s to develop their leadership competence, confidence & credibility.